First rule of fight club
by FamousImmortal
Summary: When Ben feels a desire to run away to his grandfather in Miami, Dean and Sam set out to get him. They do, but nothing is ever as it seems. More happened during those three years than any of them imagined could. Sequal to Son's Gonna Rise
1. Chapter 1

**I told you there would be a sequel…this is all totally Andrea (Lilleloius) fault******** she wrote this I beta'd it..And you know it wouldn't be here without her.…I love it and I hope you do too…no I don't hope I know you will enjoy.**

A car honked and shocked him from his daze. Dean glanced over, but ignored it when the driver moved on. These days the world seemed to be slowing down, a great heat wave had rolled in over most of South Dakota and suffocated everything in warmth. Dean was slowly starting to hate it. His brother did as well. Two grown, and very large men, got very hot, very quickly that meant a lot of sweating, especially from Sam. Now it seemed he never really moved without a water bottle near.

Dean quietly cursed when he noticed the state of his car. Dirt had gathered in the lining between the windshield and the dash where the two met. Light brown dirt and Dean couldn't help but shiver over why it was brown. Flies had decided to join the pigsty and die among the dirt. So dead flies and a thin line of light brown dirt caked his dash and bottom windshield. The only reassurance he had was the fact that his dashboard was tan and not black or white.

Sam ambled back out of the post office. He had a bunch of letters in his hand so Dean figured at least one of them would hold their new credit cards. Sam was already sweating profusely. His t-shirt was drenched and Dean suddenly fretted for his upholstery. Sam slid in and almost squeaked against the leather.

Dean grimaced, but decided to keep his mouth shut. They were both sweaty and gross.

"Okay, so we got a lot this month," Sam started sifting through the small bunch of letters in his hands. Dean waited with the same mildly dissatisfied frown on his face. Sam handed him two letters containing new credit cards. Dean's frown almost vanished as he unpacked them. Sam then suddenly stopped when he reached a certain letter in the small pile.

"Who's that from?" Dean pointed to the messy note scribbled as return address.

"Ben," Sam said and held it up for Dean.

He opened it carefully and read with Sam's eyes glued to the letters before him. "Jesus…." Dean's face fell and Sam's worry spiked.

"What?"

"He's moved out from home," Dean said and turned the letter to read the back.

"What? Out of Lisa's? Why?"

"Doesn't say why. Just says he and she couldn't work it out and now he's moved out to his grand dad in Florida," Dean dropped the paper and stared blindly through the wind shield.

Sam snagged the letter to read it himself. "What the hell….." Did Lisa mention anything to you the last time you talked to her?"

"That was almost two months ago," Dean said, with his eyes still glued to a point in front of the car.

"Don't you think you should call her?"

Dean frowned at the accusatory tone in his brother's voice, but didn't mention it. "Not my business,"

"Are you kidding me?!" He flung the letters back and stepped out of the car. "If you won't call her to ask about _your son_, I will!"

"Sam! Wait! Stop! Stop. Just hang on a minute, Sam." Dean grabbed Sam's phone and took a breath. "If you don't mind I'd rather not deal with her unless I have to," He said with such weariness in his voice that Sam instantly felt guilty. He nodded and Dean nodded back. After a seconds pause he flipped open the phone and dialled a number from heart.

"You change your mind?"

"I'm not calling her, I'm calling him." Dean pressed the phone to his ear and turned to get some distance from his eavesdropping brother.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, Ben. Guess who," Dean said without trace of humour in his voice. To his annoyance Ben played it cool and pretended everything was fine.

"_Hey, Dean. How's everything?"_

Dean cursed mentally as he always did when his son refused to call him dad. Seemed a lifetime of half truths from his mother and absence from his father had left deeper scars than Dean initially thought. "Well I got your letter. Wanna tell me why you didn't call me about it?"

"_I didn't need your help,"_

"No? Too bad, Ben. You're still a kid - still _my_ kid - and you're gonna get it whether you like it or not." Ben huffed on the other line, but Dean didn't pause long enough to let him interrupt. "And what's this about you living with your grandpa?"

Ben snorted_. "Don't worry. Bill is a great guy-"_

"You hardly ever met the guy, Ben! Lisa told me all about her falling out with her family,"

The silence on the other end of the line was deafening.

"Ben?" Dean's voice softened and he prayed to every major deity that his brother wasn't listening in. "You wanna tell me why you're running?"

Again there was a pause and when he answered his voice almost broke Dean in half. _"Everything's just screwed up,"_

Dean ran a hand down his face. "I know, kiddo. Life does that sometimes,"

Ben huffed again. _"Yeah,"_

"Would you mind if we came to visit?"

"_In Florida?"_

"Yeah,"

There was another pause that almost killed Dean. _"Dean, it's not necessary-"_

"Ben, stop. I want to. Sam wants to see you again and you know what….. he's gettin' too big for me to stop." Dean tried with a grin and earned a huff from his son. He glanced back and saw Sam leaning against the car watching the ground. Dean knew he was too far away to listen in on Dean's conversation. "Please, Ben."

There was a long silence where all Dean heard was the noise from the other end of the line. Cars driving by as far as he could hear. _"Yeah, alright. Guess I could spare you guys a day or two from my busy schedule."_

"Great,"

"_So when do you wanna come by?"_

"We're in S.D. right now so it might be a couple days. We'll call before we get there,"

"_Alright,"_

"Great." Ben hung up a second before Dean and he spent the next three seconds staring at the phone, wondering how he had grown so estranged to his own son. He looked up and caught Sam's eye and snapped back to attention.

"So?" Sam was anxious, Dean could see that much.

"He said it'd be alright if we dropped by a couple days,"

"How did he sound?"

Dean glared at his brother and handed him back his phone. "Like a little old lady with a severe lisp,"

"Dean-"

"He sounded fine, Sam…. Normal," Dean finished with a sad note and got into the car.

Sam followed and didn't mention it the whole ride.

The landscape slid by and the brothers each sat in silence. They had grown apart in the past years. Sam had bumped into Sara and re-established contact with her.

_**One month earlier…**_

_Sara had become one of the most powerful women in New York. She ran a prestigious antique house on the Upper East Side. Her father had retired and left most of his estate and money for her to expand on. She had done just that and thrived. Sam was no where near the same as the first time they met, but she seemed fine with that._

_Sam and she re slowly getting their lives back together. Like a puzzle they were slowly and unconsciously moulding their lives to fit with one another._

_Sam had started hunting along years back. He and Dean split up when they found coinciding hunts. So far only the occasional ghost or lone demon. The number of demons had lessened severely in the years after Lucifer had supposedly been released._

_The first years had been spent in a panic, trying to find any and all demons with information. Dean had again and again tried calling for Castiel with no result._

_Slowly, but surely the hunters around the world forgot about the devastating event that was supposed to have passed. Slowly but surely everybody forgot the Devil was loose on the earth. Sam and Dean stopped talking because it turned out there was too much that needed to be discussed. _

**Present…**

The air lightened and blew into the old car through open windows. Each brother was in their own mind, but neither contemplating the only things that really mattered. The reason for Dean and Sam growing apart was Dean's irreparable stubborn streak. That and his insistence that the only real Sam was the big, oafy, little brother-"Sam" he knew way back. He had never outright told that to his brother, but pulled back in lack of it.

Sam had responded in kind by simply shutting off. They had started hunting separately on occasion. That had turned into "hunting together on occasion" instead. Dean hated it, but as human nature dictated he had learned to live with the things he couldn't fix.

This was one of the rare occasions where the brothers got together and took on a hunt for old time's sake. Dean would never admit but each time his brother left after the hunts, he felt another part of him die. The separation was slowly and surely killing him.

As the years had passed so had Sam's life. To Dean it felt like he was still in the exact same place this day as he was ten years back, before the gates of hell had opened. It seemed like he was the same, sad excuse for a man he always had been.

_**Flashback…**_

_Sam was the only one evolving. His life was expanding. He moved in with Sara. He had bought his own car a while back when they started splitting up to go on hunts. A truck like his dad. Sam remembered the look on his brother's face when Sam arrived at the rendezvous point in his big "Daddy-lookalike truck". Dean's heart broke, it seemed, that night. They drove in separate cars to the next anonymous motel they would sleep in for the night._

_Sara was at home alone and Sam couldn't help feel like he was being pulled every which way. He knew there were certain things he had neglected and certain things that called for his immediate and unwavering attention._

_His brother was one of the things he didn't have time to fix. Sara was one of the things he needed to make time for._

_But the one thing that kept him working till the dead of night; the one thing that still made him wake up screaming at night, only to be comforted by her, was the memories of his past deeds. In every one of his dreams a bright beam of light blinded and burned him._

_Every night he woke up shivering and crying over everything he had lost. Everything he had done. He never told Sara more than she needed, but she was always there. She would curl her warm body around his and whisper soothing words into his ears until the tears stopped. She was the only one he had left._

_How was he supposed to survive without her?_

**Present…**

They pulled into Ben's grandfather's driveway. It was bright outside and fresh. Not as stuffy as S.D. and definitely a change Dean needed. They knocked and were greeted by Ben. Dean almost broke when he was greeted the same way he figured Ben greeted his friends.

A simple head nod and an outstretched hand.

Dean had thought he counted as more. "Hey, guys,"

"Hi, Ben." Sam said after shaking his hand with a glance at his big brother.

"Come on in," Ben stepped aside and Dean and Sam walked into the one story house with great reverence. Dean was afraid to touch anything in fear it would break. Knickknacks littered the bookshelves and tea tables. Doilies everywhere and ashtrays. One old leather chair in the same colour as the dirt in Dean's car. A green, quilt draped over it and a mushy, old pillow sitting in it.

"Where's Bill?" Sam asked with a look around the living room.

"Out on his Tuesday morning senior gym-thing."

"Seriously?" Dean turned with a grin.

"Yeah," Ben smiled back and went to the kitchen. "I know the place looks like something left behind from the fifties, but it's nice and central." He poured them a cup of coffee and leaned against the kitchen table.

Sam's phone buzzed and vibrated. He flinched back and tried to excavate it from his deep pockets. "Oh, shit. That's Sara. I gotta take this," He said and hurried into the living room, leaving Ben and Dean behind.

It suited Dean fine. He was done playing nice and pretending like everything was fine. "You wanna tell me why you left your mother?" He asked without niceties. Ben's expression softened and for a second Dean recognized the boy he had saved so many years back.

"Not really, no."

"Oh I'm sorry. I meant: You're _gonna_ tell me why you left your mother. How was that?"

Ben ground his jaw and the defiant, cold stranger was back. "I told you; I needed a change,"

"Bullshit," Dean stepped closer and straightened his back. Ben reacted similarly. "When you need a change you get a haircut-"

"You didn't,"

"And I thought I was the last person you wanted to be like?" Dean said with an arched brow.

Ben's bravado faltered again and he looked down.

"You need to tell me what's going on,"

"Why?"

"Because I'm your father!" Dean said with disbelief in his eyes over the question.

"Who are you kidding, Dean. You were never my father," Ben's expression was one of cold cynicism.

"I know I wasn't around when you were growing up, but you _have_ to understand why that is…?"

Ben nodded and huffed humourlessly. "I know, Dean. You didn't know and my mom lied to you like she did to me,"

"She had her reasons, Ben."

"You honestly think that?!"

"I know that! She did what she did for her own reasons and I could walk around blaming her, but I choose not to,"

"Oh yeah, I forgot; you're so perfect-"

"I'm not perfect, Ben. I'm an adult!" He stepped right up to his son and looked down at him through dark eyes. "If you can't find it in you to forgive her you're not as grown up as you think-"

"Funny, I thought growing up was about responsibility-"

"It is-"

"So TAKE SOME!!!" He hollered and backed away from Dean. "Admit you didn't mean what you told me back when we first found out. Admit that you never wanted to get to know _anything_ about me."

"That's not true-"

"BULLSHIT!" Ben hurled the cup into the wall and started pacing. Dean wasn't fazed knowing how many times he had blown up like that. "You drop by every once in awhile, sure. You stayed _two days_ after I found out you were my dad. How the hell was I supposed to know what I wanted in _two days_??!!!"

Dean ground his jaw and tried not to react like Ben. "I'm sorry if you think you come before everyone else in the world! I'm sorry if you think your life is the only on I have to look after!! YES, you're my son, but that doesn't mean I can suddenly drop everything else!"

Tears were gathering in Ben's eyes, but true to the Winchester way he refused to let them fall. "Where the hell did you go that was so important?!"

_**2 years earlier…**_

_Dean turned after saying goodbye to his son. He suddenly felt hope return. He felt more alive than he had for years. _He had a son_. He had a son who wanted to know him. Despite Dean's impatience he knew he had to let Ben come to him when he was ready. He couldn't imagine how it felt to have your life turned upside down like that._

_How it felt to find out your mother; the person you trusted most in the world, had spent your entire life lying to you. He passed her on his way through the house, but she didn't greet him. She sat with her back to him and her eyes on the world outside her kitchen window. She didn't turn or speak when he passed, but he moved over to her side._

"_Why didn't you tell me…?" His sad voice brought on another hiccup from her. _

"_I thought he would turn into you," She admitted with sorrow in her voice. "The worst… and the __**best**__ possible thing to happen to him." She looked up with earnest eyes._

_Dean nodded. A part of him understood, but his emotions were telling him to hold a grudge._

"_I'm sorry. I wish I could change it," Another hiccup escaped her. "It obviously didn't change anything; he's still gonna become a hunter-" A sob ripped from her chest and she leaned into her arms, over the table. "Oh God…"_

_Dean put a hand on her shoulder and rubbed in slow circles. "It's ok. It's gonna be ok."_

"_I couldn't survive if he died…!" She cried brokenly. "I couldn't survive…" She repeated and sobbed._

_Dean knew there was nothing he could say or do to change her mind and he knew there was nothing he could promise her that would make it all ok. "I'm sorry,"_

"_I wish he never found out," She cried into her own hands._

_Dean frowned in sympathy. He knew the fear of losing someone you loved. He knew what lengths people could go to, to hold on. "He won't start hunting, Lisa."_

"_How can you know…?" She cried openly. "If you don't teach him he'll run out alone at night and get himself killed!" Tears were streaming from her eyes._

_Dean cupped both hands around her face and looked deep into her eyes. "I know because I won't let it if I can stop it,"_

__________________

_**The next day in Cicero Pines Motel; in Sam and Dean's room…**_

"_Dean! Bobby just called," Sam turned with a horrified look in his eyes. "He says its happening!"_

"_What…?"_

"_He says signs are showing up all over the world,"_

"_What?!"_

_Sam switched on the TV. A weather channel was showing massive thunder storms hovering all over the US. A massive storm system was moving from Europe over the Atlantic and gathering power. They expected it to hit the east coast in little less than a week. "This is it, Dean. This is what we've been waiting for!" Sam stopped pointing at the screen frantically and started throwing things in his bag._

"_Sam, just stop for one second-"_

"_Dean, this couldn't have come at a worse time, I agree, but it's happening…. Now!"_

"_Sam just calm down!"_

"_No! Look, I know you have this whole new family, but if we don't move RIGHT NOW there won't be a family to go home to!" Sam stared at him until Dean could feel the dark cold that came with giving up a fight. He nodded and grabbed his own bag. They threw everything they had into the bags and left without word to Ben or Lisa._

**Present…**

"I had a lot on my plate back then, Ben." Dean looked down sadly.

The young man huffed with tears in his eyes and turned and slammed his hand against the wall in frustration.

"I know it doesn't make it right-"

"Why won't you just tell me what you had to do?!" He shouted with so_ much_ emotion.

Dean studied him a little closer and wondered if Sam was still talking to Sara or hiding outside to let the father and son have this moment. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you," It was Dean's turn to huff and turn.

Ben moved a little closer; curiosity peaked. "What?"

"Ben, I…." Dean looked closely at his son. This fear that he always felt around him had long ago been identified. It wasn't just because it would sound unbelievable even to the most hardened hunter. It was the fact that even if Ben knew it or not, he was still just a big kid. Even if he didn't _think_ he had any innocence left, Dean knew better. "I can't talk about it with you,"

"More secrets…" Ben sighed with his eyes slowly drying and anger setting in.

"It's not like that-"

"But it is! No matter the reason, it's more _fucking_ secrets!! I can't stand being lied to!!!"

"You're too young-"

"Fuck you!"

Dean rushed over and pushed him against the wall. "No matter what you think of me, you _will_ treat me with a little respect; your mom and my brother as well. We deserve more than your disgust and loathe….!" Dean hissed; a little surprised with his own vehement response. Ben looked shocked, but quickly recovered.

"Respect has to earned,"

"I agree. You earn respect by giving it to others. Things could be _so_ much worse for you. Whether you like it or not, your safety comes first – even if that means keeping you out of the loop."

Ben's expression saddened. "Why can't you just tell me…?"

_**2 years earlier**_

"_Dean! GET DOWN!" Sam fired the shotgun the second Dean dropped below range. The demon evaporated in a scream of fury._

"_Get the salt in NOW!" Dean shouted to the other hunters. The door, windows and vents were slammed shut in sync. A dozen hunters; among them Bobby Singer, ran from door to door laying salt down._

_The demon hissed and fizzed around under the ceiling._

"_Nowhere to go, you asshole!" Dean shouted in his deep, baritone voice. The demon seemed to hear and stilled. It then stared purring and sank to the ground. A ring of salt had been put in a perfect circle around it. Tamara and a hunter Dean didn't know were busy writing a modernized devil's trap around the salt to avoid contact with the demon._

_It spat and hissed._

"_Save it, sulphur-breath!" Dean sneered._

_The demon stilled when the last protective sigil was drawn on the floorboards. It surged together and took the shape of a kid with hoofs. Dean smirked when the demon sneered._

"_Well hello, Lucy."_

_I hissed again and Dean swore he saw birds lift from the branches outside the window._

"_Nice to see you to," He glanced over at Bobby. "This one got a name?"_

_Bobby was staring straight at the demon which was still staring fixedly at Dean. "Some say Abraxas other sources say Ilu Limnu,"_

_Dean leaned closer to the snarling demon. "So which one are you?"_

_It tweaked its head at him and suddenly softened its sneer to a smile. "Ilu…" It hissed with its smile growing bigger. "Dean Winchester…"_

_It threw its head back in a shrill laugh. The only three people in the room who managed to remain stoic were the three most vulnerable. Sam, Dean and Bobby traded looks._

"_We know everything about you, Dean…" It said in a scary child's voice._

_Dean nodded slowly with his smile still glued to his face. "Oh really…?"_

_It chuckled in its smokey voice and looked at Sam. "Don't we, Sam?"_

_Sam frowned and only managed to make the demon laugh louder._

"_Ahh yes… All the little children went to hell, except for Sam; he just smiled as they fell." The demon smiled sweetly at him, but screeched when Dean launched a wave of holy water at it. It shimmered briefly before it found its solid shape once again._

"_So you're Ilu Limnu?" Dean glared. "Never heard of ya,"_

"_Because I leave no one alive to tell,"_

"_What's with all the rhymes?" Dean asked his brother brazenly._

_Sam shrugged and flung a wave of his own holy water at the demon. It screeched again and refocused on Sam. "I'm going to enjoy burning you in hell," It laughed maniacally. "When you released The Gate, did you think you would only get Lucifer?" Its laugh died down to an unnerving chuckle. "There's a whole world of demons down there. Things you've never even heard about- well maybe _you_ have," It pointed to Dean. "Maybe even seen some of them-"_

"_Christo!" Sam growled and made the demon screech and hunch._

"_Question is, how would you like to go back? 'Cause you will if you don't tell us what we want to know," Dean continued, seemingly unaffected._

_It growled, making clear that it hated them for threatening it with hell. "I know nothing-"_

_Another wave of water was sprinkled at it until it flinched back and hit the edge of the devil's trap. A jolt shot from the ground when the demon connected with it and made the hunters pause in surprise. "This is new?" Dean turned to Tamara with an arched brow._

_She smiled back. "I perfected it myself,"_

"_So it does what, exactly?" Sam asked after._

_She turned to him with her sadistic smile already fading to a frown. "Hurts."_

_Dean turned back to the shaken demon with a surprised expression. "Simple. To the point," The demon looked up with an expression of annoyed pain. "I like it."_

"_I'm going to tell you what you want to hear," Dean's triumphant smile only lasted as long as it took the demon to inhale its next breath. "Only so you can quiver of the things to come."_

"_Sounds good to me," His smile had faltered, but he was stubbornly maintaining his smug expression._

_It turned its eyes to Sam. "Before the war can begin, the chosen one must fall-"_

"_Already did that," Dean said with a frown._

_The demon took a second to smile. "Yes, we know…" Dean's frown fell to barely controlled heartbreak. It tipped its invisible hat at him in greeting. "Glad to have you,"_

"_Get to the point!" Bobby snapped and recited the opening phrases of the roman ritual._

_It hissed and flinched back only to get electrocuted again from its written cage. Dean turned to Tamara with a grin. "REALLY liking the devil's trap!"_

"_When The Unknowing One falls, he unwillingly opens the door to judgement day," It looked back at Sam. "But the devil will __**not**__ rise until his arrival has been preordained by divine messengers," It looked at Dean with a secretive sneer. "Servants of God will blow the trumpets that will awaken the devouring light."_

"_Bullshit," Bobby grumbled with the demon chuckling in the background. "It's lying. Telling us things to scare us,"_

"_Are you sure?" Tamara asked with a look in his direction._

"_Definitely,"_

"_Then what are we waiting for?" She asked and grabbed the exorcism book from him._

"_Why are you still looking for Lucifer when he is in this very room!?" The demon howled as the exorcism rite began. "When he is in the hearts of those you think will save you. Why do you expect a creature of such grace to be contained in one individual?!" It screamed half way through the exorcism. _

_Tamara stopped. She glanced at Bobby who waved at her to wait. "What do you mean?"_

_The demon let its head fall again. "Now I see what He meant. All his horrible whispers were about you," It looked up with huge, black eyes. Greed; was the first thing that came to Dean's mind. "You need not fear Hell for it is already upon You," It turned to Dean again when Tamara started reading. "It will come from your own ranks and devour anything and everything you love." It sneered as hell began pulling it down again. Dean's cockiness was all but gone. "It will come into your homes and kill your children, Dean Winchester!!!"_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, before you guys go crazy. Here's chap two

* * *

Sam waited outside the small house when Dean trudged out twenty minutes later with dark rims under his eyes.

"That bad, huh?" He asked, leaning against the car.

"Worse," Dean said with a growl. He then looked a little closer at his brother. "He asked me to stay here,"

Sam looked up with hopeful eyes. "The doesn't sound bad,"

"Not yet."

"You gonna do it?"

Dean sighed.

"Stay; I mean?"

"I'm thinking about it, yeah. Maybe rent a place for a while,"

Sam's smile lit up. "That sounds really great, Dean."

Dean then looked down like he was suddenly bothered by guilt. "He uhh…. asked me to

ask you something,"

Sam waited patiently.

"He asked if you would consider staying too."

Sam's expression fell. "Dean,-"

"I know, I know- You have your own life that comes first,"

"No, Dean-"

"I understand, Sam."

Sam shook his head. "I just moved in with Sara,"

Dean nodded. "I know-"

"We're still getting everything together,"

"I know," He repeated.

Sam sighed deeply and looked at the small house. "He really wants me to stay?"

Dean glanced up and everything about screamed embarrassment for even asking his brother to stay. "Yeah," He huffed. "Ya know what, never mind. Don't listen to me. It was a crazy idea,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Dean moved to the driver's side. "Listen, don't stay. You know, like you said; Sara's waiting for you at home, so…."

"Actually she's not," Sam smiled. "She's in France for the next two weeks."

"But the house you guys got…?"

"Can take care of itself," Sam smiled at Dean's careful expression. "I think I could take some time out of my schedule. Not like I have a job." He smiled when Dean grinned.

"Guess that runs in the family,"

"Yeah, guess it does," Sam's smile changed to a concentrated frown. "You know, Sara and I opened a joint checking account so if you need any money for the place…?"

Dean shook him off. "Naw, I'll figure it out."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, but don't think you're skimpin' out on paying half of the rent the first couple weeks," He pointed seriously.

Sam chuckled. "Course not,"

"Good," Dean slid into the car and Sam followed. They drove to the nearest motel until Dean could get everything set up. Ben called two times that day. Once to hear what his uncle said to his question and the other to hear if they wanted to get something to eat. Dean said yes to both.

They walked through the doors to the restaurant. Gemma looked up from behind the bar when the three handsome strangers sauntered in. It was a nice place and they seemed slightly underdressed, but she figured no one there would mind. The first one was a little younger, but still tall for his age. Dark, spiky hair and slender arms and legs. She didn't doubt he'd bulk up when he grew up completely. He looked like the youngest of them. The next was older, but in excellent shape. Real cowboy in disguise, that one. Tall, but not too tall; dirty blond hair and vivid green eyes. A smooth leather jacket hugged his shoulders and he walked with a swagger.

The third one was tall. Really, really tall. 6 ft tall if she had to guess; if not taller. Dark brown hair hung in soft bangs down the sides of his face. His shirt hugged his shoulders snugly and showed off his chiseled frame. The three shared certain features, but looked different from each other. What struck Gemma the most was their posture. All three walked with such ease and confidence. She guessed they were related somehow. The two older ones could easily be brothers and the younger could be a son to one of them. The older, lighter one perhaps?

Jaq glanced over at her from behind the bar with a grin. The handsome bartender walked over casually. "They're sitting at your table, gorgeous," He smirked when she grinned at him. "Luck is a lady tonight," He sighed softly when Gemma strutted towards them with three menus.

She reached their table with a sparkling smile. Her hair looked really good that night and she figured she had a chance with one of them if they weren't taken or gay. "Hi. My name is Gemma and I'll be your waitress this evening," She placed the menus in front of each of them.

Immediately she drew the eyes of the green eyed cowboy and the youngest one. They had the same lines in their faces, but where the older was light the kid was dark. Dark hair; brown, almost black eyes; darker skin. But they smiled alike. The same sparkling smile lit up the very air around them. "Call me if you need anything,"

"Oh we will," The kid answered with a cheeky drawl.

Gemma smiled sweetly at the kid, but made it very clear that she had no intention of hooking up with someone so obviously a minor. So she flirted uninhibitedly with the older.

"Well hello there…" He shook her hand slowly. "I'm Dean." He flashed another thousand watt smile and she couldn't help but blush back.

The kid turned in his seat with a huff and focused on the tall dark haired one. The two shared a smirk.

"I'll be back in a couple minutes to take your order," She chirped and headed back for the bar.

Jaq arched his brows questioningly at her. "So please tell me, Mr. Tall-Dark and Handsome is gay?" His eyes sparkled.

She smiled and shook her head. "Don't know about your guy, but mine is as straight as they come," She glanced back along with Jaq to see Dean smiling at her. She smirked and headed to the kitchen to relay their orders.

"Ben, can I ask you why you wanted me to stay?" Sam said and leaned over the table.

Ben swallowed nervously and glanced up at his dad. "No reason. Just wanted to talk with you guys," He said and smiled stiffly.

Dean cleared his throat as a subtle sign for Sam to move on. "Stuff looks good here." He commented with his eyes on the menu.

"Yeah, I'm starving," Sam said as well.

The tension stayed until after the food was half eaten. It seemed to lift with the intake of sustenance. Ben ordered a beer like his dad and uncle, but was cut off by Dean who insisted on ordering him a coke. "At least have the decency to drink behind my back like all other kids; not flaunt it in front of us." He said in a flat voice that made Sam smile.

Ben couldn't help but smile too.

Dean stuffed a chunk of his steak into his mouth with a satisfying 'oomph'. Sam and Ben shared a grin. "So, what school are you enrolled in?" Dean asked between bites.

The air practically chilled and it seemed everyone but Dean noticed. Ben cleared his throat unconsciously. "I'm not actually going back to school, Dean."

Dean stopped mid-mouthful and glared at his son from under his bangs. "Excuse me?" His son, not treating him like family, he could handle; the name calling he could ignore, but this was the straw the broke the camel's back.

"Ben, you have to go to school!" Sam said as if Ben announced he was joining a circus. To Sam that seemed only _slightly_ less crazy.

He looked down with a sudden lack of appetite. "I dropped out this summer-"

"You what!?" Dean barked a little louder than he intended. But as always; the only one who didn't notice half the restaurant staring, was Dean. "You're going back to school!"

"Dean-"

"Hey, you don't get to tell me what to do!" Ben started with a finger jabbing into the fine linen.

"Yes I do-"

"Since when?!" Ben bit back.

"Would you both calm down!" Sam leaned in between and drew their angry glares. He looked at Dean. "If you wanted to fight with him then why did you come to the restaurant," Ben smirked mockingly. "And, Ben- of course you're going back to school!"

"What?!" He asked with a ridiculous frown.

"Yeah," Dean chimed in just to be heard, but then seemed to think about his next words of wisdom. "You wouldn't have asked us to stay if you didn't want someone to help you; now let us help."

Ben huffed and threw his utensils down indignantly.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked bordering on angry.

"I'm going to the bathroom if that's alright with you," Ben hissed back.

He left without looking back and Dean watched to see if he actually went to the bathroom. No way was he letting the kid duck out on them.

"Was that too much?" Sam asked quietly.

Dean turned half back to him from having his eyes on Ben. "Huh?"

"That there… If I'm' getting in your way you gotta tell me?"

"Yeah- No, Sam," Dean turned back fully. "It's fine. It was great," The little voice inside Dean was huffing from a bruised ego. "Since when did you become such a parent?" He asked, returning to his steak.

Sam shrugged. "Don't know. Just did what I thought Dad would have done,"

Dean snorted in his meal. "Yeah, cause no way in hell Dad would have let either of us out of school without a degree."

Sam huffed with a smile. "Nope,"

Dean stopped when he was almost done with the steak and stared into the table. "You think he hates us?" _Me?_

"No!" Sam said with conviction. "I know he doesn't, Dean," The tone in Sam's voice almost made Dean think his brother heard his thoughts. So thoughtful and careful.

Dean nodded and stayed silent until Ben returned five minutes later. He sat down with a thump. Dean didn't even look up from his meal before addressing the grumpy teen.

"We'll go down to the nearest school on Monday and get you enrolled."

Ben huffed and picked at his food. "So I don't even get a say?"

"You're lucky I'm not a fan of ankle bracelets or you'd be wearing one right now," He grumbled with food in his mouth.

Ben stared at Dean who looked up with a smug smile while he drank his beer greedily.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna see what the waitress likes to do on Saturdays."

Ben huffed and rolled his eyes. Sam smiled softly into his food. "We're gonna figure something out; don't worry."

Ben glared at him until Sam looked back down.

He huffed and wondered if he had underestimated Dean Winchester's resolve when he ran out on his mom.

**Monday morning…**

The school door opened Monday morning to a colourful crowd. The anonymous, the kids, the teens, the rebels, ditsy cheerleaders, the steroid-jocks, the geeks and the losers stormed the gates on their way to class. Ben had never felt so little. So anonymous.

At his old school he had gained a reputation as a nice rebel. One of those kids that girls watched from a distance and giggled.

_**One year ago…**_

_The boys either hated him or loved him. Most of them hated him. _

_Ben sauntered down familiar halls. The smells; old, safe and known. The sounds were easily recognized and treasured. The faces mostly smiled at him when he passed them. One in particular. _

_Katie. _

_He always smiled back, but lately he got to do a little more… _

"_Hey handsome," She greeted him with a hand on his hip and shifted herself directly in front of him. "_

_Hey yourself," He smiled into a kiss when their lips met. Their kiss lasted only seconds, but warmed him from inside out. They were still smiling when they broke apart. _

"_Haven't seen you at all today," She pouted. _

"_I had the first class off," The lie slipped out of his mouth a little too easily. _

_Her eyes sobered and saddened. "Ben…." _

_He huffed. No matter what, she was the one person he never had to lie to. And he still did it anyway. _

"_Where were you last night? I tried calling, but no one answered." _

"_Fell asleep early," _

"_Oh yeah?" Her brows arched. "Along with Keola?" Their voices were calm and quiet enough that no by passers would hear. Ben sighed and tried turning away from his girlfriend's piercing eyes. She brought his head back towards hers with one hand on his neck. He wouldn't look down to meet her eyes and she wouldn't take hers from his. "You can tell me if you guys went hunting."_

_"We didn't." _

_"Is something's wrong?" _

"_Nothing's wrong," _

"_Ben-" _

"_Nothing's wrong!" He turned out of her grasp and rushed down the halls._

**Present...**

Ben was frozen in the parking lot in font of the new school. His mind was split in two. A part of him knew he had to go in, but another desperately wanted to run. The promises of _hopelessness_ that classrooms offered was too much for the young man to handle. There was too much despair in schools. He glanced down at his schedule and his book of campus. It was a pretty big school. Fenced, like all the good neighbourhoods. Full of rich kids with big cars. Where the poor were the losers.

He swallowed thickly when suddenly a scent of flowers drifted by his nose. He turned in the direction of the scent and saw a girl walking by with long, blonde hair. She glanced back, directly at him with a tentative smile and continued on. Everything about her screamed upper class cheerleader. Cheerleaders had never been his thing. He liked shy girls, smart girls. But she was still oddly intriguing. He smiled back and flinched when someone slapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Welcome to Ridgefield High," The kid smiled openly at him and pulled him along into the building.

"Do I know you?" Ben asked and followed.

The kid smiled. "Not yet, but hopefully soon," He reached out a hand. "Kyle Tanner."

"Ben Braeden," Ben smirked back and the kid almost exploded from the minimal show of emotion.

"Aw, man it's GREAT to have you here! You're the news around the school!" He grinned and stopped in front of a row of lockers.

"Uhm,"

"This is yours, man," Kyle opened Ben's locker and shrugged when Ben glared at him. "I used to have this locker." He shrugged again and gave the new kid some space.

Ben opened the locker and looked inside. It was empty. Nothing to put in it left him staring a little longer before he decided to simply close it again and move along. Kyle waited patiently for him and smiled when Ben started moving again.

"What's your first class?"

Ben flipped open the crumbled note he'd received from the office receptionist with unreadable handwriting.

Kyle snagged it from him when Ben couldn't spell his way through the doodles. "Don't worry, man. Nobody can read Mrs. Kaztoppowitz's directions." He grinned and read aloud. "First class is AP English. Dude, you're with me!" He laughed and pulled them along to the classroom.

It was crowded with people Ben didn't know. It made him on edge. He felt like every person who bumped into him was trying to knock him down. He crash landed next to Kyle who was still smiling. Ben smiled meekly back and got settled.

Outside, the sun shone which only reminded him that much more why he hated school.

The bell rang and class ended. Ben; along with every other kid in the classroom, rushed out like their lives depended on it. It turned out his two next classes were with his self-proclaimed best friend as well. Kyle pulled him along all day; guarded him from the Goths and talked him up to the pretty cheerleaders. Turned out Kyle was a renegade much like Ben himself. Kyle fell outside the normal social casts of high school because he was too hard to pin down. He had friends on the football team, the chess club and the AV club. Ben was shown all the cool hangout places on campus; which people he should _definitely_ know and which ones he _definitely_ shouldn't. By lunch he had more useless information floating around in his brain than after one of Sam's hunts.

He had claimed a table in the court with his trey and book bag. He felt like his head was on the verge of exploding.

Kyle hopped in next to him with his grin still plastered on. "Hey, dude,"

"Hey," Ben nodded back.

"Wow you look wasted," Another guy said and sat down.

"Ben, this is Dale from the school team. He's a total jock," Kyle added with a grin and earned a shove from the footballer.

"the only reason I'm friends with you is because you're the only one with enough brains around here to make an audition tape for Julliard." The handsome guy smiled brightly.

"Wow. Julliard?" Ben asked. "You're a musician?"

"Dancer,"

"And singer, and actor," Kyle droned on. "This guy does it all," Dale slapped his shoulder playfully and laughed. Ben found himself oddly swept up and couldn't stop smiling.

"So, what's your story?" Dale asked and settled down. Two more teens joined them before Ben could start. One of them, as it turned out, was the blonde girl who smelled like flowers.

"Ben, this is Baja," Kyle introduced

"Hey," She reached out her hand and took a seat.

"And Hayden," The blonde boy to her left nodded to Ben.

Ben smiled and nodded. "I'm Ben."

"Yeah, you're news, bro." Hayden said with a grin.

"I feel bad for your school if I'm news,"

Kyle chuckled and ate a fry off Ben's plate. "You're so funny- I told you he was funny," He pointed back and stormed away from the table like he had ADD.

The three friends leaned closer to Ben and made him share information.

"So where did you move from?" Baja asked.

Ben smiled softly at her and leaned back. "Indiana,"

"Wow…" Ben glanced over at Hayden. "Sounds boring," He shrugged. Ben huffed with a smile when Baja slapped the back of his neck in response.

Dale leaned closer with a smile. "Who're you staying here with?"

Ben's grin faded and Baja noticed immediately. "Guys, maybe he doesn't wanna talk-"

"It's ok." Ben nearly whispered and looked down and picked his food. "My grandfather,"

"Where are your parents?" Hayden asked with the smile now fully gone from his face.

Ben huffed grimly. "Not around,"

"Broken up?" Dale asked with a quick, unconscious glance to Baja.

"Never got together," Ben said with arched brows and shifted. He needed to get away, "I'm sorry guys, do you mind not talking about it?"

"Yeah sure, man." Dale said and clapped his shoulder carefully.

"Thanks,"

Kyle returned and thumped back into his chair. "Hope you remembered to flush?" Dale smirked and earned a hard shove from Kyle.

"Had to go see a jock about a bet,"

Ben could still feel their eyes on him and felt desperate to change the subject. "What'd ya bet about?" He forced down another bite of Sloppy Joe. Apparently that was an old timer on the universal high school menu.

"You don't wanna know, man," Dale said and grinned. The big guy glanced over at the slightly smaller Kyle and the two shared a grin.

"No, tell me." Ben leaned closer, his attention grabbed.

Kyle looked around the court like they were being watched and leaned as close to Ben as he could come. "You sure you wanna know?"

Ben nodded.

"But you understand that once we tell you, you can't tell anyone," Something in Kyle's eyes darkened and made Ben change his opinion about him once again.

"Promise," Ben glanced around the table and noticed they had all suddenly gone completely serious.

"I don't think I should tell you," Kyle leaned back suddenly.

Ben looked at him in exasperation and rolled his eyes. "Fine-" He got up to leave.

"Wow, wow. Hold on, dude." Hayden pulled him back down. "If you really wanna know," He pulled a little paper not from his pocket and slid it to Ben under the table. "Be at this address tonight at eight," He nodded at Ben's confused frown.

Baja frowned and rolled her eyes. "And if you don't then come see me," She shot him a smile and sauntered away from the table.

He smiled as she went and couldn't help but tilt his head to watch her walk.

Dale slapped his arm and snapped his attention back. "You gotta be careful with her," Kyle and Hayden shared his serious expression.

"Why is that?"

"She's already taken," Kyle said and nodded to where she was laughing with a tall, muscular guy. Slender to look at, but strong too. Like Sam, Ben surmised. Only not as bulky. He frowned when she leaned up to kiss the stranger and grab his ass.

The bell rang.

"Will _he_ be there tonight?" Ben asked without taking his eyes off the couple.

"The event's at _his_ house, dude." Kyle said and shared a look with his two friends. "You can bet your ass he's gonna be there."

Ben nodded slowly and watched the crowd disperse and go back to their classes. "I'm in,"

Dale had the next class with Ben and walked him there. Ben was slowly getting the layout of the school. Something he had always been good at was navigating after landmarks, or in this case, hall-marks. At the end of the day Ben felt pretty confident that he had at least three new friends and as it would soon turn out, a new after-school hobby.

He waited on a corner a couple blocks from his grandfather's place and kept a lookout for Kyle. He'd gotten a call from his dad and Sam asking if he wanted to grab some dinner later. He declined, saying that he needed a night to himself. He didn't tell his grandpa about the call and ate early. A jeep glared and squealed to a stop right in front of Ben. Kyle was in the driver's seat with Hayden next to him and a couple of other guys in the back.

Ben hopped in between them and sat awkward and silent.

"Ben, this Chris and Tyrell. They're fighters." Ben frowned at the strange introduction.

"Fighters?" Immediately his senses went into overdrive and every gesture they made was analyzed in search of any weaknesses.

"Yeah," Kyle smiled back. "These guys are my income," He grinned along with Chris or Tyrell. Ben couldn't remember which was which.

"These the ballers you were betting with today?" He asked with his body carefully still. _I can take them_. He doubted they would try anything, but if they did he would show them how good he was at throwing punches.

"Nope, these were the guys I was booking for tonight for a cut of the winnings," Kyle grinned back.

"Who exactly are they going to fight?" Tyrell or Chris,_ or whatever_, grinned at him and Ben thought he saw a blacked out tooth.

"Whoever's up for grabs," Hayden grinned back.

They pulled up to a huge driveway full of huge cars. Lights poured from the windows and Ben was surprised no one had bothered to call the cops. Especially with it being Monday.

Kyle must've read his mind because after parking the car he slapped Ben's shoulder with a grin. "This is why we throw these things uptown. Rich kids' parents are always gone and the neighbors are in on the wagers." He grinned in goodbye and joined a group of tough looking guys. The group walked together inside, but Ben stopped in his tracks when something caught his eye.

Baja looked straight at him and smiled when she noticed him looking back. A flash of her giggling with her boyfriend earlier, shot through his mind. He tensed when the guy popped out of nowhere behind her and slung his arm over her shoulders as if claiming his kill. He caught sight of Ben and Baja staring at each other and stole Ben's attention when pure malice shone from his eyes.

He had a bad feeling about this…


	3. Chapter 3

The fights were arranged and bets were expected. Nobody fought outside the ring at the parties. If any of the guests had a problem with another they could take it inside the ring. Everything went between two fighters. Every trick, style, move, kick, chop, drop, punch or jab was allowed. The only thing not permitted were weapons of any kind.

Ben watched two guys squaring off before a fight. A loud crowd was gathered and cheering around them. Ben could see one of the fighters already bleeding from a cut below his brow. He was hunched over as if protecting a bruised or broken rib as well. The hunter in Ben wanted to run down and rip the combatants apart. Placate them. A part of him knew the whole scenario was wrong. He knew it would lead to something much worse than harsh words between him and his dad if he ever found out.

But the music got louder and the beat got heavier. Ben's body heated and tensed just as Jack slung his arm over Ben's shoulders. Baja's boyfriend; or '_Jack_' as one of his buddies called him, was smiling in the most aggressive way Ben had ever seen. Before, he had never thought someone capable of coming off that threatening by simply smiling.

"Welcome to my party," Jack said and dropped his arm from Ben's shoulder.

Ben noticed Hayden, Dale and Kyle watching the two of them from afar. Probably betting on how long it took for Jack to deck Ben. But they didn't know what Ben could do. None of them knew that Ben had been trained by one of the most capable fighters in the U.S. The son of the son of a marine was not to be underestimated - a son of a demon hunter even more so. He smiled back and tensed his shoulders to strike a more solid stance. Something in him knew Jack wasn't intimidated, though.

His smile just grew. "You're the new guy, right?" He pointed and Ben had to fight the urge to flinch back.

"Yeah,"

"You enjoying the action?"

A collective sound of regret echoed through the crowd when one combatant was knocked down. The guy with the bruised ribs from before had won by tap-out. "Uh, yeah," And a part of him really did.

"Well good," Jack slapped his arm and pulled Ben around to watch the two fighters.

"Whatta ya think so far?"

Ben studied the winner with appraising eyes. "Good, but his balance is off to the left."

Jack's smile grew as if Ben had just given the correct answer. "Exactly!" He weaved around to face Ben. "One solid kick to his knee cap and he'd go down in seconds."

Ben watched Jack's slightly exited and sadistic expression with discomfort.

"But _none_ of the others spotted that," Jack looked around at the party goers, smiling and laughing as they collected their wagers. "Except for you," He pointed a bony finger straight at Ben's nose. Jack shook his head as in regret. "I knew there was something special about you…"

He turned with the finger still pointing and headed back to Baja who had stopped smiling. Ben watched him leave and jumped when Kyle slapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Whatever you do, don't let him bait you,"

"Into what?"

"Fighting him."

A roar went up when Jack stepped into the fighting circle. Ben watched with a guarded look. He never noticed how Kyle, Hayden and Dale closed in behind him to stare in the same direction. Dale slapped his shoulder and pulled him back with his eyes glued to Jack. "Don't get involved with them, Ben." He yanked him back without taking his eyes from Jack.

"I won't," Ben promised. The voice in his head was singing a different song, though. Slowly he felt a familiar burning anger making its way out like a beast spitting at the bottom of his stomach. He turned slowly and followed the three friends back into the house. The rest of the evening was spent soaking up whatever alcohol he could find and downing it; hoping to fit in a little better. He wound up being driven home by Kyle and Hayden.

"C'mon, man; get the door open!" Kyle hissed with Ben slung over the backseat. "I don't want him puking in my car!"

Hayden popped the doors and Ben practically slid out. He was completely out of it. Kyle huffed in irritation and grabbed Ben's feet to drag him to the front steps. "Alright, go! Get in the car; we'll ring the bell an' leave him," Hayden watched Kyle hop in the car and rang the doorbell. He waited two tense seconds before the lights turned on inside the house. He turned and ran. "Go, go, go!"

They ripped away from the curb before the door opened.

Bill turned on the porch light and blinked his eyes sleepily. It was two in the morning and his grandson was passed out on the steps on a school night. His face fell in a grim expression and he leaned down to rest a hand against the boy's face. With slow and awkward movements he picked him up and brought him to his bed without waking him up. The old man ran a hand down the boy's forehead again and frowned at the warmth he felt poring from him. He turned and plucket a cool cloth from the bathroom and draped it over the boy's forehead. He grabbed a bucket coated with water as well just in case the boy needed to throw up.

A deep rumble sounded from him at the annoyance of his sleep being interrupted and that fact that he had only recently started sleeping at night. He had always suffered from the neon-disease. As did his daughter and her son.

Looking down, he couldn't really get mad. The truth was that kid was too much like his mother for Bill to hate. But there were sides of the kid he could catch glimpses of every new moon. Manners he had never seen in Lisa or himself. Traits he assumed came from Ben's father.

The streetlamps outside was the only moonlight he ever saw these days. The yellow squares cast shadows on Ben's relaxed face and made it look older.

_The boy's a boy like any other, but just… sometimes…_ he thought; there would be a glimpse of someone else. Someone older than the boy's seventeen years. He assumed that the look of wisdom he sometimes caught came from the father. A man Bill had never met. A man he hated on principle alone for leaving his grandson after finding out the truth.

He turned with another low grumble and set the alarm to six. He wasn't getting any sleep tonight anyway so he figured Ben should be grumpy with him tomorrow.

XOXOX

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Bee-

Ben slapped a hand on the clock and knocked it to the floor. The shrill beeping faded to a distorted squawk.

"_Ben, breakfast!_"

He sighed and slung his arm to cover his eyes.

"_Now!_"

"Yeah, comin'…" Ben's voice was like water over gravel. He whimpered when he sat up.

"Oowww............ hangover..."

"_Benjamin! Now!_"

"Coming," He called back and winched when his own voice sliced through his brain.

Downstairs, Bill grinned lopsidedly at the thought of the mammoth hangover his grandson was sporting. Ben thumped quietly down the stairs and sat down at the dinner table. "Mornin', son." He flipped a slice of bacon.

The smell almost made Ben hurl.

Bill heard the awkward gagging and smiled into the pan. "I figured after a busy night like last, you could use a real breakfast!" He slapped the bacon and scrambled eggs on a plate and set it in front of Ben.

His face almost looked green.

"How's the hangover treatin' ya?"

Ben growled and pushed the plate away. His head thumped onto his arm with a suffering growl.

"I thought about grounding you for staying out past curfew, but I think that'd do more damage than good,"

"So you decided what, instead?" Ben asked with red eyes.

"I called your father," Bill said and turned back to the stove.

Ben's head snapped back up. "You what!"

"Not surprisingly, he's a real night-raven too,"

"Why would you DO that?!" Ben jerked up form his seat and ran his fingers through his hair. "Oh, he's gonna kill me,"

"That's the impression I got too," Bill said with a sadistic smile.

"You're cruel, ya know that?" Ben bit back.

"And you're reckless. It seems there's not a single person on this earth you respect except for him. So I figured I'd give it a try." Bill shrugged and looked up when the front door opened. Ben sent him a questioning look. "I told him to come right in,"

Ben's expression darkened.

"_Ben?!_"

Ben glanced over at his grandfather, but the old man simply stayed at the stove with a mirthful grin on his face. "In here,"

Dean stomped into the kitchen and froze in the doorway. His eyes were glued to the old man he had never met before. Ben's grandfather looked a lot like Lisa and Ben. "Hello," Dean nodded, but didn't move.

Bill nodded back. "Hello there." He sighed and popped the empty pan in the sink. "Well, Ben, I'm not gonna interfere because I figure it's time for you father to take some responsibility." He looked to Dean who looked angry, bordering on pissed. "Can we agree this isn't about you or me, Dean?" Bill never even knew the man's last name and felt stupid for addressing him by his first.

Dean stared back a second, measuring the old timer. "Yeah," He eventually agreed.

Bill nodded and made to leave the room, but Ben stopped him. "Wait, what is this?" He got up from his seat and looked between his dad and granddad.

Bill sighed and suddenly fretted telling Ben. He looked so fragile all of a sudden. "It's time you got your life together and I can't help you with that," Bill said quietly.

Ben glanced from one man to the other. Dean was looking into the floor and Bill was staring at him with such regret in his eyes. "What's that mean?" He asked.

Dean thought he heard tears in the boy's voice. He swallowed thickly and looked back up. "It means you're gonna be living with me and Sam for awhile."

"What?!" Ben stared fixedly at Bill who had averted his eyes. "Grandpa?"

Bill shook his head slowly. "You don't know how this breaks my heart, son."

"You're kicking me out?" Ben could feel his eyes burning. He could feel his shoulders trembling and his chest hitching. "Wh-Why...?"

Bill looked so sad, Dean almost felt like apologizing for ever showing up.

"I can't keep you in line, Ben," Bill continued. "I need help. I told you to call your mother and you didn't so I called the next best thing." The old man had; in his infinite wisdom, decided that if one parent didn't add in the calculations, the other would. The boy didn't need cuddling, he needed guidance. And judging the man standing in his doorway Bill figured it would do.

Son of a marine. It screamed from every fiber in Dean's body. The strong pose and sharp eyes. Completed by the buzz cut. Bill knew marines' boys. He knew how they worked and how it was to be raised by one. He regretted not being able to bring that same discipline to his daughter.

Bill had raised his daughter like his father had raised him. But instead of learning from it, the girl had broken away. She had gone in the opposite direction. Instead of discipline she had run amuck. Bill had never had her respect or devotion like his father had his. But Ben was still madly loyal to his mom even after everything, so he couldn't quite dismiss Lisa's way of parenting the kid. Despite the boy's anger to her, Bill could tell devotion when he saw it.

His first solution had been to call Ben's mother, but the woman had decided to "give her son space". Apparently she felt she had given enough care and needed Ben to learn responsibility. But what Bill's daughter didn't know was that responsibility wasn't something you taught yourself. It was something that was taught _to_ you. And where Bill had failed with his daughter he figured quite logically, he would fail with grandson as well.

So as he first surmised, the only option left was to call the father. Dean Doe. The unknown hero that had brought him a grandchild. Dean swallowed thickly and looked down, but his body still beamed with authority. Silent, but powerful. And Bill knew he had made the right choice.

After all.... If the boy was with his father, how much trouble could he get into?


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, here's my Christmas present to you all, chap four! Hehe

This ones's pretty long, but there is a character death…that's all I'll give you

* * *

Ben moved in with his dad and uncle later that day. Dean and Sam were still living out of a motel room, but had promised they were getting something more permanent. Sam claimed he had an eye on a small two bedroom apartment ten minutes outside town. Forty minutes from Ben's school. Ben hated it. He was already feeling cut off from his new friends simply by being in the constant company of the two obscure demon hunters. He hated the way Dean sometimes just sat and stared at a spot on the wall like he wasn't all there. He hated that Sam somehow felt he needed to compensate for Dean's lack of attention by constantly trying to start a conversation.

To top it off he felt like he was being watched 24/7. It was already getting under his skin and it had only been four days. But despite living in tight quarters the room was spotless. Ben didn't figure when Dean or Sam cleaned because he never saw them do it, but every morning he would wake up to an immaculate room.

Despite his reluctance the new school was settling on him. He had stopped carrying the campus guide and he had at least three friends there. His locker was slowly filling up with crap and normalcy was settling on him. Slowing him down. Adding a comfortable, modern apathy to life. Making it easy for depression to sneak up on him in the guise of computer games and daytime TV. Almost inviting it in, he thought sometimes. Making him miss home. _However screwed up it was_. He missed Keo most of all. He missed his old girlfriend and secret soul mate, Katherine too.

A girl named Josie smiled every time he passed her in the halls. He always smiled back awkwardly. This day he nodded and continued out to the football court and running tracks without looking back. Groups of people hung out in circles, laughing loudly. Ben was feeling increasingly stuffy and needed space. It seemed like he was the new toy everybody wanted to play with. He couldn't go three minutes without someone engaging him in inane conversation. He never realized how much he hated small talk before now. He hurried outside till the students were far enough away for him not to feel trapped and claustrophobic. His deep breaths were vaguely echoed by the kids' laughter. The coach yelling at his latest victim on the track.

Ben walked slowly over to the back bleachers closest to the tool sheds. A strange sound increased as he walked closer. Strange _'schmock's'_ of fists hitting flesh. He dropped his books and sprinted into the shed where the strange noise originated from. The first thing he noticed was Hayden on the floor with his arms up to cover his face and a couple other guys from the school standing around and commenting. A kid Ben first had seen that very same Monday, beating an opponent during the 'knock-out' party, was currently kicking Ben's new friend to the ground. He ground his jaw and sprinted into the fight between the two guys.

With a rough shove he forced the attacker back, but he didn't let up.

"Ben, wait," Someone's shrill laugh echoed in the back.

He swung his fist into the guy's jaw again and again.

"It's a planned fight!" Jack laughed behind him, but Ben didn't hesitate.

He punched and snapped the guy's head back. A thin line of blood sprayed the wall, but the guy didn't miss a step. When he lunged again Ben grabbed his wrist and pulled him off balance before tripping him to the ground.

"Wait, stop!"

To Ben's surprise it was Hayden who now spoke up. He intervened and pulled Ben back just as he was about to punch a fist through the fighter's nose. "What!" He turned to Hayden with wide eyes and back over to Jack. The group of spectators looked annoyed over the intrusion, but otherwise strangely dispassionate. Jack seemed like a cross between amused and angry.

"As much as we appreciate the show, this was under control." He said calmly.

Ben was still seething. "What?" The aggressor who had become the victim after Ben stepped in, was worming his way to a stand, and still leaning heavily against the wall.

Hayden pulled Ben back outside and left the others to their protests. "You shouldn't have done that," "What're you talking about?! You were on the ground and those assholes were laughing!" Ben's voice was a low hiss as they stepped outside.

Hayden never released his shoulder. "It's ok-"

"No it's not-"

"Ben, it's fine-"

"No!"

"Ben!"

Ben stopped arguing and tore his eyes away from the open door. The door leading back into the shed where the guys were now talking about him and Hayden.

"It was a planned fight,"

Ben did a double take. "What?"

"Training. I'm fighting tonight,"

"Se-Seriously?!"

"Yeah,"

"Why would you-!"

"Jus' calm down for a sec, man. Jus' listen to me." Hayden pulled them away from the shed.

They entered the field and could now see the kids running laps. "Why are you fighting? I thought you hated their parties?"

Hayden huffed and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I do - but I - I just.... It's complicated, Ben."

"Then _uncomplicate_ it!"

"I can't!" The shout earned scattered stares and whispered comments from the guys watching. Hayden took a breath and calmed down. "No offense, dude. I like you, but why I do what I do, is my business." Ben ground his jaw with a last glance at Jack who had now exited the shed. "Fine!" He turned and stormed away. Hayden tried to follow him, but Ben's long legs carried him faster than the blonde. When Hayden tried to call him back, he stormed into the crowds and left Hayden staring.

*

Two lessons had passed since the little impromptu fight. Ben was still seething over his lunch, in stark contrast to the other guys who were there.

"Hey, so you're all coming to the party tonight?" Jack said as he appeared at their table. He clapped his arm around Hayden's shoulders with a sharp smile. "You're getting good, Kid. Almost as good as me,"

Hayden grinned lightly. Baja greeted her boyfriend and kissed him. Jack looked around at Kyle, Baja, Hayden and Ben with arched brows. Kyle shook his hand casually and smiled. "Wouldn't miss it, Man,"

"Great," Jack leaned down and kissed his girlfriend again. He then took a second to stare at Ben unabashed before he chuckled coldly and hurried off.

Ben couldn't help, but feel irked by their public displays of affection. Not that he was that interested in Baja, but more that Jack had her first. That and the twin glares from Hayden and Kyle rubbed him the wrong way.

A bunch of girls hopped by and stole Baja's attention and she hurried off to sit with her girlfriends for once. The three boys continued picking at their lunches under the spotless sky. Ben was starting to miss the rainfalls in Indiana. The strong northern winds every fall and the clouds billowing by. He felt trapped under the perfect sun and the bright, blue sky in a way he had never felt it before. His frown was interrupted when Dale took a seat next to his friends. "So, my friends, you ready for the big blast off tonight?" He smiled and bit into a red apple.

"Yeah, I've been sparring with Tony for the past couple weeks and I'm getting pretty quick." Hayden said as he suddenly dug into his lunch.

"What about you, Benji?" Dale asked.

Ben shrugged quietly into his spaghettis. "Don't really like to fight,"

"I'm not talking about fighting; I'm talking about watching other idiots fight." Dale had practically inhaled his apple and hurled it in the trash ten feet away.

"Yes, and let's not forget what would happen if you got in the ring with any of these guys," Kyle said without looking up.

Ben frowned at stopped picking at his food. "Whatta ya mean?" Something about the small, nerdy guy had changed.

"I mean that you would get creamed in ten seconds or less." He looked up and caught the hurt expression on Ben's face, but kept a straight face despite. "Look; I love you, man, and that's exactly why I'm advising against it."

Ben had thought he knew Kyle relatively well, but this was a new expression on the kid. Something unfamiliar that made the hairs on his neck stand to attention. "You don't think I could do it?" But the devil in Ben overruled all cautionary advice. The devil in Ben had already decided what it wanted. It wanted to fight! "Honestly?" He frowned and looked back at Jack's receding back. He shrugged carelessly like he really didn't care one way or the other. And that confused Ben more than anything. "No."

_Sounds like a challenge_._ Or an ambush._ And damn if Ben wasn't already set on beating the smug smile off the bastard's face. "What time's the party?"

"Tonight at nine… We can pick you up…?" Hayden asked cautiously like he wasn't keen on the idea either, but happy that Ben seemed to have forgiven him.

Ben clapped his book together and grabbed the trey with his eyes on Jack and Baja. "Yeah…"

*********

_**One year prior…**_

"_Mom, I'm going out!" Ben called from the hallway to the kitchen. _

"_Where are you going?" Her worried voice called back. _

"_Just going over to Katie's," Ben lied effortlessly while grabbing his knapsack. "Kay…" Came the hesitant reply from the kitchen. It seemed that all Ben ever did these days was talk to walls. He and his mom both avoided each other as much as possible. _

_He left the house without second thought to what he was doing. This was just another hunt, he kept telling himself. Just another beastie that needed killing. _

"_Ben!" Keo met up with him at the rendezvous – which really just made it sound like a bad French movie. "I practiced the exorcism like you said." _

"_Yeah me too." _

"_You think we should really do this?" He glanced at his friend. _

_Grey clouds were gathering on the black sky. Ben could smell the rain preparing to fall. "Yeah," _

"_I'm just saying that maybe we should call Dean-" _

"_No!" Ben cut him off and started walking, not even trying to hide his anger with his absent father. They were on the church parking lot approaching the church. _

"_Ben, c'mon. I know he was a dick for leaving without word, but you can't let your own issues endanger us," He yanked Ben to a stop. "Please… Before we go in there," _

_Ben calmed and stopped. A drop hit his shoulder. _Yep, here it comes._ "Fine, lay it on me." Ben shot an uneasy glance at the dark church. He'd never liked churches. There was an air of doom about them. Sometimes when he was young he imagined hearing the victims of a thousand innocent, condemned men in the echoes of 'Amen' and 'Hallelujah'. _

"_If you're emotionally unbalanced you're more vulnerable to possession." Keo fired off the stuff he'd read online. _

_Ben huffed and made an effort to calm down. "I know." _

_Keo glared. _

"_I'm calm!" _

_He huffed. _

_Ben widened his eyes incredulously. "Alright!? Let's go kill this bastard!" He turned and trudged up the stairs. Keo turned after watching his friend's back a second. _

_After the Winchesters left Ben had felt and seen himself change. He had matured, he thought. Putting his loved ones before himself. He had bought two shotguns to add to his growing arsenal after their sudden departure. He had studied the brothers' trade the best he could and evolved with the knowledge. Memorized every information he could find online or –paper. _

_He could do this!_

*******

**Present…**

"You got this, Ben." Dale was rubbing his shoulders and getting him fired up for another round. A chorus of cheers sounded behind him. Didn't matter that the room was spinning. "You got this, buddy." He repeated and served another line of tequila shots.

Ben was facing off against a guy the size of a small Boeing 747 and nicknamed "The Tub". Ben was slowly coming to a startling realization. One: Dean was going to kick his ass the second he and Sam figured out what Ben was doing. Two: "The Tub" should have more accurately been named "The Sewer". After their tenth-or-somewhat shot Ben was seeing things in a comfortable blur. _This is becoming a habit_, he thought as he swayed precariously on his chair and crowds started laughing.

When he hit the ground he was already passed out.

***********

_**One Year prior…**_

_Ben drew an almost perfect circle if he had to say so himself. His smug smile lit up the dark room. "Tell me again why we can't turn on the lights?" Keo grumbled from his own task. _

"_Not unless you _wanna_ get hauled in for a reunion with your dad?" _

_Keo grumbled something too low for Ben to hear, but he doubted it was very nice. _

"_There. Done!" Ben said and straightened. A white crayon circle, complete with protective sigils, blessings in Latin, Hebrew AND Sumerian, a pentagram and a kickass scorpion donned the church floor. The congregation was going to have a heart attack when they saw, what could easily be confused with satanic vandalism, on their black tiled floor. _

"_Me too. What's next?" They gathered around an old book Ben stole from the public library and looked at the page in question. _

"_Now we summon the bastard." He flipped through the book. "The web site said that if the demon was already on earth, this spell would be enough. It'll be forced into the circle and be under our control. We call it to us, wait till it gets here and then we exorcise it," He propped the book under his arm while he cocked his rock salt loaded shotgun. "Piece of cake," _

"_You sure about this?" Keo asked with one last glance at his friend. _

"_Yeah," He cleared his throat and started the summoning ritual confidently. His strong voice called out with authority from his father, clearly there. It was as if the Great Dean Winchester was calling for the demon himself. _

_But nothing happened. _

_Ben and Keo exchanged looks when the night remained anticlimactically quiet. A car drove by on the street outside and disappeared again. They shared a second glance when a voice nearly drove them out of their skin. _

"_What are you DOING here?!" It shrilled at the end and lent no confusion that it was a woman speaking. _

_Both boys turned like deer caught in the headlights. Their shotguns pulled behind them when they saw the woman with the impressive set of lungs. A nun. "W-W-W-" Keo stuttered. _

"_We didn't-" Ben began, but fell short when he didn't know what 'they weren't'. _

_She stared at each of them until she noticed the mark on the floor. "WHAT is THIS!?" Her high-pitched voice cried out in disbelief. She walked over to the mark very slowly, never taking her eyes from it. She stopped when she was directly on top of it. With disbelief still etched in her eyes she looked back up at Ben. "WHAT are you two DOING here?!!" _

_None of them answered. _

"_Get this cleaned up THIS INSTANT!" _

"_Yes, ma'am!" Keo almost stumbled over his own feet to get his jacket off to use it as a rag. Ben stopped him. "First step out of it," He said with a faint shiver in his voice. _

_Her expression changed when Keo stepped back and pulled out his gun along with Ben. "You think it's… _it_?" _

"_Yes," Ben said without breaking eye contact with the old nun. "The outfit doesn't fool me," He addressed the nun. He forced a smile that the demon gladly returned. _

"_It did at first," She smiled a little more brightly and Ben ground his teeth. The nun turned her head to Keo. "What's your name?" _

_He lowered his chin and glared at the demon with his gun pointed dead center on her face. "Well I'm Curly and that's Moe. What's yours?" _

"_Curly? Strange name for a human," She grinned. "My name is Agares and I believe you called me?" _

_Ben shuddered at the air around the demon. It seemed like any other old lady he had ever met, but there was more. Something he couldn't put his finger on and that scared him senseless. Keo grinned humorlessly that the demon believed the obvious pop culture reference. "You don't seem scared?" Ben asked and drew the attention from Keola. _

_She narrowed her eyes at him. "You look familiar…" _

"_You don't," He countered and lowered the shotgun. "Whatta you say we get this over with?" He pulled out his book and flipped the pages again for the exorcism. _

"_Oh forgive me, it's been ages since I last walked in your gardens," She smiled when Ben glared at her. _

"_So you're old, big deal? So's my mom." Keo mouthed off in an attempt to draw the attention back to himself. _

_The demon frowned in confusion, but still seemed calm. _

"_You _do_ know what we are, right?" Ben asked darkly. _

_Her smile faded to a look of absent shock. _

"_Hunters?" He offered. _

_Her eyes flashed black and bored into Ben, who held the book calmly in front of him, and back to Keo. "That's right, sweetheart… You're screwed."_

*******

**Present…** Ben woke up on a plush couch with a nameless blonde hovering over him. She crooned when he gagged for a second. "Aww, hunny…" Her sweaty fingers were running over his forehead and only adding to his nausea.

"-Need to - throw up-" He rolled from the couch and weaved through the half empty room.

The nameless girl followed him to the bathroom where he continued to expel the half digested dinner Dean so meticulously cooked for him, along with whatever alcohol wasn't dissolved in his bloodstream. "Aww, sweetie…." She crooned again and almost made Ben tell her off. He hated being called _sweetie_. He was about to, when he hurled again and made her croon even more while her hand moved up and down his back far too fast. She helped him to his feet and supported him when he washed out his mouth and the sweat from his brow. He gurgled a smudge of toothpaste for the foul taste and straightened his back in front of the large mirror.

He felt alright. Better than he had two minutes ago. Not as drunk either, he noticed with a pleased stomach-rub. When he turned she was still there, staring at him like he hadn't just thrown up in front of her. In fact she was starting to look more than a little turned on – and drunk – but Ben wasn't arguing. She leaned forward and stuck her tongue into his mouth. A part of him cringed for her, but another was a little too drunk to care. He kissed her back and moaned into her warm mouth when he felt her hand fiddling the button in his pants loose. He felt himself get a boner under her administrations and buckled forward to met her eager hands when she leaned a little too much on his stomach. It revolted and twitched in nausea; and just like that the mood died.

He forced past her and came face to face with the bowl…again. It seemed she didn't mind suffering through it the first time, but the second bout of ralphing was just too beneath her. She scoffed and left the bathroom with Ben on his knees. After his third heave he sat back against the cool wall. He didn't know how long he spent in that position until Kyle appeared in the room. "Hey," Ben said.

The skinny and quite geeky looking kid jumped half a mile when he saw Ben. "JESUS! You scared the shit outta me!" His voice pitched a little at the end and made Ben chuckle. "How'd ya feel?" Kyle asked softly and kneeled in front of Ben. He placed the back of his hand against Ben's brow.

"Better now that I threw up,"

He jerked back his hand. "Eeew!"

Ben chuckled again and didn't flinch when Kyle unzipped and peed in the toilet right next to him. He was too drunk and tired to be bothered with embarrassment. Kyle zipped back up and washed his hands before turning back to Ben. "Well, the fights are getting started and you don't wanna miss this," He said with a grin and helped Ben up from the floor. Together they headed back into the empty house.

"It's like a haunted forest in here," Ben commented quietly while Kyle guided them outside to the back yard.

"That's because everyone's out back,"

Ben followed and stopped in awe when the crowds screamed out in victory. A guy in the circle had just knocked out his opponent. Ben noticed with another wave of nausea that the winner was none other than his self-proclaimed arch rival. Jack turned with his fisted hands up and a victorious smile on his face. Baja kissed him and returned to gossiping with his girlfriends. Ben swallowed convulsively when Jack noticed him through the crowd.

"The prodigal son has returned!" He shouted victoriously. "Ben! Get down here!"

The crowd started cheering and Ben instantly felt his body run hot. His buzz lifted and he sobered almost instantly when the adrenalin hit his system. The crowds parted like the waters for Moses. Ben was half pushed, half lured closer to the fighting ring. Kyle tried desperately to stop him and call for the support of Dale and Hayden. Ben didn't hear anything but the roar of the crowd and the laughter from Jack. He could feel his body heating as he approached. His mind clearing. He was still drunk, he knew, but couldn't feel it anymore. His skin felt numb, but his head was clear. _He could do this!_ He entered the ring without really knowing how. It seemed the world itself had slid open to welcome him in. Jack was already dancing around for the crowds shouting and pumping his fists in the air. "Two fighters!" Someone announced. "Jack _"The Dagger"_ versus…?" The announcer glanced over and huffed when Ben failed to notice. "…Benjamin!" The crowds cheered despite the lack of a cool alias. Ben was having trouble focusing solely on his combatant. His eyes kept reeling towards the crowds in nervousness. He could fight excellently for a kid his age, just not with a crowd following his every move. As Jack turned and rolled his neck, something slipped over Ben. Something he remembered easily. The feeling wasn't hard to identify, contrary to the origin. He had no idea why Jack pissed him off so royally. The feeling was somewhat heartwarming and familiar. Anger! When Jack swung his first punch Ben remembered every idiot who had ever hurt him and blocked it. He swung back so hard that Jack flew three feet back and swirled to one knee. When he got back up Ben could have sworn he saw something evil in his eyes.

******

_**One year earlier…**_

_Ben and Keo watched in satisfaction as the demon screeched. Thinking they had already won. "… psallite Domino qui fertis super caelum caeli ad Orientem. Ecce dabit voci suae vocem virtutis, tribuite virtutem deo." _

_It leaned its hooded head back and howled. Its scream rattled the old windows and chandeliers. It seemed as if the ground itself shook. "STOP in the name of Lucifer!" It howled and stared at them through black eyes. _

_Ben tried his best not to look up from the book as the room went up around him and Keo. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica." _

_It laughed so the pews shook and the pane glass windows rattled in their frames. _

_Keo stopped chanting. "You think it's alright to cut the ritual down like this?" He had to shout over the deep, penetrating grumble. _

_Ben stopped his chanting and looked over at his friend. "Dean said it was only a few parts of the ritual that's necessary. Most of it is just for show." _

_Phantom winds howled between the high ceilings and made the chandeliers sway. _

"_Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine." He picked back up and was quickly joined by Keo. "Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos. Ut inimicos sanctae Ecclesiae humiliare digneris, te rogamus, audi nos-" A pew shifted violently next to Keo and knocked him off his feet. _

_Ben continued by himself in an angry hiss. "Ut inimicos sanctae Ecclesiae te rogamus, audi nos!" _

_Another pew lifted. It spun in the air and jumped two rows down, clashing into another line of pews behind Keo. The way it spun made it look like one of the many car chase scenes Ben had seen, where the cars were lifted from the ground and spun in the air like top before they hit the ground and exploded. Wood didn't explode, he thought, until the pew was slammed into another pew and then the floor. They splintered into a thousand little pieces that shot out like claymore mines. The biggest splinters only flew seven or eight feet, but the little ones with less weight sprinkled both Keo and Ben. They ducked under the downpour to cover their faces. _

_The demon shrieked again and laughed. "You thought you little humans could kill ME?!" She laughed again. _

_Ben clambered to his feet and reached for the book with a growl. When Keo yelped in pain he recited the last lines, hoping they would work. "Terribilis Deus de sanctuario suo. Deus Israhel ipse truderit virtutem et fortitudinem plebi Suae. Benedictus Deus. Gloria Patri!" _

_The room went up in blinding light. The ground shook. Ben curled in a ball and covered his eyes. The light stung his skin and the more seconds passed the worse it felt. His scream mingled with the roar of the 30 year old church vibrating in its foundations. Then it just stopped._

_For a few tense seconds he stayed on the floor with his head under his hands and panted heavily. His entire body ached like he had run a marathon. The silence following the ear deafening noise almost hurt. His ears were ringing. He blinked up and scanned among the mess for Keo. His friend was huddled on his side a few feet away with a pool of blood gathering around him. Ben noticed the large piece of wood sticking out of his friend's back and almost flinched to a stand. "N-No," He scrambled to his feet and stumbled over the floor. _

"_Not so fast," A deep, hissing voice said and grabbed the back of his neck in a painful pinch. _

_He was picked up as easy as a feather and flung back. With a slam he hit the thin rug right in front of the altar. His head smacked against the tiled floor underneath it and left his consciousness swimming. He scrambled back towards the ceremonious table. He could hardly remember the rites, but knew it was the only weapon he had left. "Exorcizamus te, om-omnis immundus spiritus, omnis sanct-satanica pot- AAHHHRRR!" Pain whipped through his spine and into every part of his body. _

"_Two, little boys…!" The demon hissed as it came closer with its hand out towards Ben. "Thought they could send me back?" Its hand jerked and pinned Ben against the floor. "I remember you now. I know who sent you," It chuckled which turned to a hearty laugh. "Did he really think he could send someone else to _kill_ me?!" _

"_I don't kn-know what you're talking ab-about," Ben stammered through the demon's pressure on his chest and yelped when it squeezed tighter. _

"_You claim you're not his son!?" It roared and its eyes flinched from black to blue and back to black. With another flinch it pushed him further into the carpet. _

_The weight on his chest had him clawing to escape. Breathing was impossible now. He writhed on the floor and scratched at his own chest and the throw rug beneath him. _

"_I recognize him in your voice, boy!" It hissed toxically. "I remember _him_…!" _

_The edges of Ben's vision were now beginning to shimmer and darken. _

"_I know your father from hell!" She roared as his ribs shifted under the pressure and almost snapped. "And I'll remember you! I'll make sure to send both of you back there, Winchester!" She roared as Ben's brain quickly short circuited. _

"_Crux sancta sit mihi lux!" A stranger's voice roared. "Non draco sit mihi dux. Vade retro Satana! Numquam suade mihi vana. Sunt mala quae libas. Ipse venena bibas!" _

_The demon's grip on him vanished with a breath of air and a deep inhale on Ben's part. He coughed and rolled to his side, protectively curling around his ribs. Soon after, he felt soft hands gripping his shoulders and worried voices calling to him. _

_* _

_When he woke up he was in a hospital bed with his mother's hand in his. Her wet eyes shining in the lights from outside his door. "Ben?" _

"_Mom?" His voice was washed out and weak. He smiled when he felt her hand squeezing his. _

"_I'm here, Benjamin." Her hand stroked lovingly over his forehead and then vanished. She hiccupped as trying to stifle a sob. _

"_Mom…? What's wrong?" Ben's body turned dead cold as he tried to focus on his mother's expression through the dim lighting. She sobbed wholly this time and released his hand to cover her mouth. Ben could feel her reluctance to comfort him despite the pain meds, despite the gloom. Despite his own fear. _

"_It's Keola." She whispered exhaustedly. _

_Ben felt his heart stop. "Wh-What…?" His breathing came in puffs as his head started spinning. Tears gathered in his eyes and rolled down his temples. They whetted the pillow and cooled his face – all before his mother ever told him the horrible news. Because a part of him knew. He _knew_ what had gone wrong. He knew what had failed under the otherwise successful hunt. Because the demon HAD gone to hell. He felt it. He heard the priest shout an exorcism and felt the demon vanish. He saw the flashes from ambulances when they arrived. It was over. _

_But when he awoke there was still something horribly wrong. Crooked. The world seemed slightly ajar somehow. _

"_He's dead," His mother whispered and stood from her seat next to Ben. _

_He suddenly realized she blamed him. He could see it in the way she held her back. _

"_He's dead." She repeated and left the room without looking back. _

_Ben sobbed. The darkness was complete. It was welcome. In the darkness he could allow himself to feel. In the light he always had to be someone. There was always something to do or say. But in the dark he could let go. He could stop pretending and acknowledge what he felt in his heart: He was no one. Nothing. Worth nothing. To most others, he would forever be known one of the two boys who had been attacked by a deranged nun and survived. _

_But how was that a comfort when deep down he knew the truth? Deep down he felt the truth: He would forever be the boy who got his best friend killed._

*******

**Present....**

Ben launched and caught Jack just above his right eye. With clumsy movements he moved out of range from him. He had become increasingly aware of how drunk he was when the fight actually started.

"C'mon, boys! We play till knock-out!" Someone in the crowd shouted.

Jack was spurred on by the shout and lunged from a low position to topple Ben over. The two fell to the ground in a flurry of limbs and fists. And then, from out of nowhere, fists started raining down over Ben. Some of the most powerful punches he had ever taken. Each one left him shaken and bordering on the verge of consciousness. Again and again the kid slammed his etched fists into Ben's face.

But with a sudden burst of clarity Ben shifted under Jack's weight and kneed him in the crotch. All the air whistled out of the kid and he scrambled back. Ben rolled to his feet, not caring about the bruises on his face or the blood seeping into his left eye. All he could see was Jack. Crawling back to get away. Cowering, it seemed to Ben. He lunged and served what he had just received. Again and again his fists rained down into Jack's face till someone tapped three times between his shoulders with a flat hand. Ben turned and was about to lunge, thinking they were ambushing him, but several hands grabbed his chest and held him. "Ladies and gentlemen!"

The crowd roared.

"We have a WINNER!!!"

They went up in a roar of cheers and the hands just seconds before, holding Ben, now clapped his back in congratulations. Someone was already helping Jack back to consciousness and dragging him away from the crowd. Through the pain Ben became aware of the cheers and felt himself getting riled up. If he could take the best guy in school, drunk, then maybe he really was a winner?

He smiled drunkenly through the bruises, blood and booze as he was led back into the villa. The rest of the night went up in roars every time someone thought they heard his name being spoken. _"Ben!? Who said Ben? Whooah!! Winner! Winner! Winner!"_ They shouted and got him a shot.

Ben stopped counting after his fifth. He was dropped off at his grandfather's again that night and left on the curb.

*

Bill came out with the same worried frown and helped his grandson into bed, as he had before. He knew a broken soul when he saw one and wanted nothing more than to fix it. To save his grandson even though he knew he couldn't. Last time he had waited till morning to call the boy's father and even then regretted it. But this time he called Dean immediately and drew a sigh of relief when the father picked up on the first ring. Bill smiled sadly when he hung up. The man had been worried.

A thought struck him, watching the sunrise through his large bay view windows. Perhaps Ben didn't need someone to keep him in line or worry about everything?

Perhaps he just needed someone who worry about the right things?


	5. Chapter 5

Lisa glanced up when her son descended the stairs and entered the kitchen. She was reading a magazine while eating her cereal before work.

Ben was still sore. He was still bruised. A yellowing mark marred the side of his face. The wounds had almost completely healed and had started to itch. He grabbed a bowl and sat down across his mother. She flipped a page and took a spoonful of Apple Jacks without looking up or even acknowledging her son. The crunch of the cereal was louder than that of the incessant wall clock.

He sighed and rubbed a hand down his face. This was how she had been since his release from the hospital two days earlier. Quiet.

The first 24 hours had been spent in his room, alternately staring into thin air and crying. His mother's words to him in the hospital and the way she looked at him when he was first released had brought tears to his eyes. Now he was just adjusting to it. He wasn't so sure if that was a good thing.

She closed the magazine and put the bowl in the sink. "Wash this for me, will ya?" And left the room without ever looking him in the eye.

He sighed and felt the familiar knot in his chest throbbing. Tears lined his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. She was right to act this way towards him. It was all his fault. In the three days since his release he hadn't seen Keola's mom. He hadn't seen her in the hospital either. He suspected his mom for keeping him from her. Protecting him in some way. He had her all figured out, he thought somberly. Even if she didn't blame him, she acted differently. She probably didn't think he would notice. And because she had deluded herself into thinking she didn't blame him, she felt it necessary to keep her baby safe. Ben didn't complain. In fact he almost never spoke at all any more. He just slunk back up to his bedroom and hid in his bed.

His bruised ribs still hurt when he put pressure on them, but he didn't talk about it with his mom. He didn't think she would want to hear his complaints.

He had been in the hospital for almost a week. His ribs had hurt really badly and when he started getting headaches they checked him for brain damage. They found no signs of hidden injuries and started considering psychological causes. Some of the nurses claimed he had nightmares about demons and angels and reported it to the doctors. After that he was placed under observation in a closed psychiatric ward for forty eight hours. His mother didn't protest, saying that her son wasn't insane, but very depressed and she wanted the best treatment for him.

Ben knew the truth. She couldn't stand looking at him. She thought he belonged with those psychos on the ward.

The first day he had been approached by a babbling idiot spouting on about bugs in his ears and moths in his brain. That was when it hit him. It took him ten hours to stop crying from the shock.

His mother thought he was crazy.

She thought he _deserved_ to be there.

He was given sedatives and kept for two more days. His mom came to visit him once. She spent the hour sitting across from him with her hands folded. She looked so calm. So ok with the entire screwed up situation that Ben almost flung the table into the wall. But he knew if he had they would've kept him longer. So he played along. He acted nice and stayed to himself.

Those four days in the ward went by in a haze. He had been released with a classified depression.

But where Ben was healed and released, Keo left in a body bag.

He didn't speak to his mother about it at all. During that week Ben was incarcerated Keo was buried.

He picked at the label of his pill box. The pills they gave him were called Paroxetin which were right up there with Fontex, Seroxat and Prozac. There was a whole world of happy pills and all of them sounded like something from the future. The doctor told him to stay on them and not miss a dose. He was told they wouldn't work until after 3 to 6 weeks. The pills made him nauseous and lazy. Sometimes his legs flinched or jumped on their own accord and his hands sometimes shook when he stood up too fast. They made it hard to concentrate and somehow made his nightmares worse. He hated them so he stopped taking them two days after he was released.

Then he researched their side effects online. He wasn't a hunter for nothing. What he found made him shake his head at the small town doctors and their lack of contemporary knowledge on the very drugs _they_ sold. The pills had caused suicidal thoughts in the first three weeks of treatment. Just like the medical article said they would.

_He should've stayed in the psyche-ward_, he grinned sourly. In his mind he imagined Keo laughing at the joke and felt the throbbing knot in his chest tighten. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. It seemed like he was always tired, but couldn't sleep at night. Instead he slept during the day and aggravated the insomnia. His mom wouldn't be home before another five hours to make him get up. That meant he had five hours of blessed quiet where he could slip into oblivion and forget all about life.

****

When he woke up, the house wasn't quite as quiet as before. Dimmed noises came from downstairs. Mom was home.

He spent a few moments trying to wake completely before he went down to get something to eat. It was four o'clock in the afternoon already. He was sleeping his days away. That couldn't be healthy he thought as he rolled out of bed.

"_Ben? You awake?_" Lisa called from the kitchen.

He sighed and opened the door. "I'm up!" He called down grumpily and trudged to the bathroom. After a quick wash and a change of pants he headed down and sat at the dining table.

His mom still wouldn't look him in the eye and he felt like crying in frustration right then and there. And she honestly wondered why he hated being around her? Around everyone? He could see it on their faces. He could see their blame and loathe towards him.

"I'm making chicken curry." She commented without emotion.

"You don't know how to cook, mom." He mumbled into the same magazine his mother had read with equally as little emotion.

Lisa momentarily stopped her preparations and stared at her son. "I'm sticking to the recipe," She said pointedly.

"Hmm," Ben answered without looking up.

She huffed and turned again.

Ben's thoughts were interrupted by the clanking and banging of pans and pots while she tried to find just the right one. He huffed again and was answered by a loud, metallic thump. Lisa scoffed after slamming a pan into the tabletop. Ben straightened slightly and looked at her. Her head was bowed and she was clasping the table. "What's up?" He asked almost as if challenging her. He nearly flinched at the look she sent him. He would've smacked himself over the head if he hadn't been so wrapped up in his own mind.

"What's up?!" She growled at him. "Get up!" She marched around to his chair and pulled him roughly to his feet. The pots were all forgotten.

"Mom!? What the hell!"

She pulled him to the hallway and released him with a nod to get dressed. "Put on your shoes."

"Where are we going?" He asked as dispassionately as he could, which wasn't very. He could already feel himself tearing up at the thought she might finally have had enough. _This is it. She's gonna dump me at bus station and never look back_.

"To see what you've missed. Get up." She barely allowed him time to lace up his boots before she marched them both out of the house and to the car. "Get in." She ordered and marched to the driver's side.

Ben got in with a convulsive swallow and tried to keep the tears from running down his cheeks. "If we're going s-somewhere at least let me pack-" He forced out of his mouth.

"We're not going that far." She bit him off.

It was like she was suddenly a complete stranger. They drove down through the rural neighborhood and turned right at the main road. "Where are you taking me...?"

She ground her jaw and made a right turn. Ben looked out of the windshield and froze. This was the one place he feared more than the psyche-ward or the bus station or even his school. Above them rose a majestic sign reading: "Evergreen Terrace".

Ben shifted in his seat and swallowed shakily. "Why are we here?" His hands were shaking again and he was about to blame the anti-depressants before he remembered he stopped taking them.

"I need you to see him." She said with wet eyes.

"W-who?" Ben glanced over at her with wide eyes. His chest almost hurt, so tightly it clenched.

Lisa just ground her jaw again and killed the engine. "Get out,"

"W-What…?" She walked around to the passenger side and pulled open the door. _At least,_ he thought, _she has the decency to not drag my ass out like a criminal_.

"Get out." He swallowed and drew a deep and soundless breath before he got out and walked behind her. He knew why she brought him here. He could feel it even though the reason for it all had never been mentioned in his house. They walked up to an area of the cemetery and stopped in front of a row of gravestones. One plot looked newer than the others.

"N-No…" Ben turned when tears fell from his eyes.

Lisa had hardened considerably seeing her son's mournful expression. She grabbed his face and forced him to look at the plot.

"M-Mom, s-stop!" He tried jerking his head out of her grasp, but she just held on harder and he wasn't about to use force against his mother.

"You need to see him," She said quietly.

"W-Why are you doing t-this to me…?" He sobbed.

Her expression softened. "Because you think it was your fault." She said with empathy.

"N-No,"

"Ben, it wasn't-"

"No!" He ripped loose and stumbled back. But he only made it half a step before his butt connected with the grass. The simple gravestone mocked him. It sat quietly and watched his suffering. And Keo's ghost didn't even have the decency to tell him itself.

"You didn't kill him," Lisa said and kneeled.

"S-Stop it!" Ben screwed his eyes shut.

"No, Ben, look at me!" She grasped his cheeks. "I never blamed you, honey." Her voice sounded so heartbreakingly soft. "It wasn't me- I…… it was you, Ben. YOU blamed yourself."

He tried to control his sobbing, but may as well have tried to stop the ocean.

His mom released his cheeks and shifted next to him. "I know how bad you must feel, sweety-"

"You h-have no idea…" Ben muttered darkly and refused to look her in the eye. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Keo's gravestone.

"I know you lost someone very close to you. I know that you feel very alone right now. And I know that I haven't been there for you like I should have," She blinked a tear away. "But I've been grieving too, Ben."

Tears were running down his cheeks when a hollow laugh suddenly bubbled up. "You h-have no idea how alone I feel," He slowly turned his eyes to hers. "You have no idea how I f-felt, being l-locked up in that place f... for f-four days." He laughed again without a trace of humor. "Knowing that my own mother th-thought I belonged there." More tears dripped down his face. "That m-my father wouldn't even come to s-see me."

At that, Lisa's face fell and she seemed to sink into herself. "Ben, I didn't call him."

"What?"

"I never called him,"

"Wh...-" Ben blinked up at his mother's remorseful face and scrambled back.

"Ben?"

He got to his feet and turned.

"Ben!" He ran without looking back. His mom stopped calling for him before he was even out of sight.

He ran, like he had so many times before, till he could barely catch his breath. He ran in a seemingly random direction, but the goal was clear in sight. Katie. Her velvet hair and deep blue eyes. Her whispered words of comfort and reassurance. He needed her in his arms right now. He arrived at her house. It was dark and quiet. Without too much thought he picked up a pebble and threw it at her window. He did it three times before she appeared. She looked down and vanished. He knew she was coming down and stepped back.

Deep breaths were shifting his healing ribs again and again and only adding pain. His hands were still shaking. She exited the house with a worried look around. "Ben? What's wrong?"

He was trembling and crying. His breath hitched and he choked on his answer.

She walked up to him and cupped a hand on his cheek. "Tell me," She begged quietly.

He sobbed again and darted his eyes around the dark. "S-She didn't tell me!"

Kate looked around at his yell. "Shh, Ben you'll wake up the whole neighborhood."

He sobbed again and seemed only to be getting more agitated as the seconds passed.

"Tell me what happened,"

He sobbed and laughed humorlessly at the same time. "K-Keo died." Then he looked at her like that was the reason. And it was. It was more than enough. His eyes were red and hollow. He looked like a dead man walking.

"Ben...." Her own eyes whetted and she reached up a little further. "C'mon inside. You can spend the night with me."

He knew why she was offering to share her bed with him. They'd had sex before. None of them were virgins when they began their relationship. Far from it. But he knew why she offered it now. On this night. So soon after everything that had happened. Pity. He brusquely pushed her hand from his face and backed up with a scowl and even darker eyes.

"Ben?"

His eyes softened slightly at her confusion and hurt. "I can't." He turned and ran again. He needed sleep. She was left standing in the dark while he ran away like a coward.

When he reached his house in the dead of night he regretted not taking her up on her offer. He could've used the distraction, but the passion was gone. He couldn't seem to find the desire to sleep with her. He felt less than alive. Like he was dream walking. _Yes_, he thought as he closed the door to his room behind him, _this is a dream. _**_This_**_ is the dream and the dreams are reality_. He chuckled insanely and flung off his boots and clothes. Maybe the world where Keo died, his mom didn't talk and he couldn't get turned on by his girlfriend was the dream. The real world was the one he so often dreamed about. The one where he was married and passionately in love. The one where he hunted ghosts along with his dad. The fairytale.

He fell onto his bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

But not before thinking one final thought: What if he could somehow make it true?

********

**The next morning**

The warm sun shone from a misty sky. Like tinted glass it sparkled on the ground where a thin layer of frost covered everything. His breath puffed in the air. Deep inhales made his lungs ache. He looked up when a door slammed and someone walked out. Class was already in session. Ben was supposed to be there.

Katie expected him to be.

His mom; despite not being there to physically walk him to his seat, expected him to be.

It seemed that everybody had expectations of him. Things he was supposed to be doing. Things he wasn't supposed to be thinking about. His family: being one of them. His mom, telling him to let it go and focus on his own life, had been repeated so often the well intended comfort had lost all meaning. Now he sat on the front porch of his school in the cool morning. The sharp sun was already heating the air and soon it would burn away the thin layer of rime. He sat with his back to the school building and stared out into the street. It was still quiet, but wouldn't stay like that for long. He glanced back up at the dark windows with rooms full of students and teachers. They all wanted something different for him. Most of them wanted the best. But he couldn't help feel that none of them had ever asked what _he_ wanted.

He hated school.

He hated the mind numbing monotony of it. How the days blended together and otherwise simple acts became habits. Creatures of habit made the best prey, he thought to himself. An advice his uncle gave his dad long ago when they thought Ben wasn't listening. Civilians made for the easiest prey.

A father walked by with his two children. Nice guy in an expensive trench coat covering an even more expensive suit. The kids were screaming and yelling and the father was shouting back, completely stressed out. Long hours in an office, he probably hated, to feed the kids that hated him.

Ben decided that he didn't want that. It wasn't a shocking realization because a part of him had always known. He suspected the part of him from his father was the cause of that restlessness and wanderlust. He wasn't normal. Never had been. Being born into something greater than himself had always suited him fine. Even at the tender age of nine he seemed to have the 'hero-role' down perfectly. He still remembered working with his dad to get the kids out of the basement. He still remembered him and the brothers working together on hunting down the trickster years after. Three years ago.

But the thing he remembered most of all was Dean's car. That black beauty and how it sped so quickly into the sunset after Dean found out he had a son. A bitter wave rolled up Ben's throat and caused him to swallow thickly. Dean and Sam had left him. _One_ day after having killed a monster together – _one_ day after finding out Dean was his father – the brothers took off.

Almost two years had passed since then. They left him in that small town with a mother who had continuously lied to him throughout his childhood. And a burning desire to get out and see the world. A numbing feeling of not knowing who he was and not fitting in. They didn't care where Ben was.

He and Lisa hadn't been talking for a long time. They stopped right around the time after Dean left. Before Keo it just didn't mean that much because Ben had his friend. Ben and Lisa started fighting over the simplest things. Things they never would have fought over before, which seemed to irritate him endlessly since.

Katie had watched him sink deeper and deeper into melancholy without being able to fix it. No one could.

On those, cold front steps Ben came to a silent agreement with himself. It wasn't enormous. It didn't feel like a vision of clarity. It just sorta' happened: No one cared where he was as long as he was happy. But Ben wasn't happy. He knew how he could be though, and school wasn't it. Cicero wasn't it. 'Normal' wasn't it. 2,4 kids, a minivan, a nice middle-upper class home in Toledo and a golden retriever wasn't it either.

With slow movements he got up from the misted steps. With determined eyes he scouted down the street. And with quick, confident steps he headed back home to pack. He had made a promise to himself a year ago. A promise he hadn't been keeping. He had promised to live life to the fullest, seeing how short it really was. It was like that promise had withered amidst the trivial everyday things. But then suddenly awakened. Keo's death brought it all back.

_No more._ He was going to live – with or without his father there to guide him. Starting now....


End file.
